Help others win…and your success is all but guaranteed

by Edward Henkler on September 10, 2013

Fighting for what you want is a bad strategy unless you believe you will never face an opponent who is better than you.  There can only be one #1 and even that fame is fleeting, so let me suggest an alternative.  Follow my five steps for success when interacting with others:

  1. The first step is always to understand their point of view…what motivates them?
  2. Next, try to understand how you can contribute to the achievement of their goals…..this is not a superficial step…you must earnestly seek to understand how you can help them.
  3. Sidestep questions about your goals, especially when they potentially conflict with the other person’s goals.
  4. Suggest solutions or next steps to resolve their challenge.
  5. Interact as an equal and position collaboration as a current reality, not a future possibility.

Note that your goals never arise in the discussion as you have focused on their needs, not yours.  It may not always work but I suspect your goals will be realized far more often than if you try to force your will on the other person.  Few of us like to be told what to do but almost everyone appreciates someone who earnestly seeks to help.

What’s the bottom line?  Focus on the other person’s success and you will build a legion of allies, certain to contribute to your success.

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